Appraisal Pros Prose: The Sounds of Silence

Hello. I could not have chosen a worse time to start any business even remotely related to the world of real estate. But, since I have so much time on my hands (and you must, too, or you wouldn't be reading this!), I can journal my adventures as a new entrepreneur.
Today, I spent most of the day picking up the phone receiver to make sure that the stupid thing still works...very frightening, this silence. I take solace in the fact that Bill Gates believes that being patient is part of being successful. I wonder if he had days that he thought he was going to throw up....too much time on your hands gives one too much time to think about all of the things that can go wrong with this whole scenario!
I want to share a funny piece that I read last week - yeah, last week was slow, too! It's called "Why Men Might Be Happier"

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President of the United States.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics usually tell you the truth.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just "too icky."
You don't have to stop and think about which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental - $100.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear costs $8.95 or less for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your own clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes...one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes or less.